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yo-yo-yo. etc. i'm switching journals, cause this name doesnt mean much anymore, really. my friends list is staying the exact same, though, so i'd appreciate if you add me back :) new name is as thus, cause someone's already registered celyn and not used it for three years, the bastard. anyway, sorry, new name: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) komiyan
okies :) bye for now, old journal..
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yay digicam :) nice day, apart from being `excruciating` in the middle. i have a gammy leg now all of a sudden, must've knackered it in by doing absolutely nothing to anger it.
got lots of random clothes, hats with ears and slippers that bark. a good haul, i would say. and now i just need to ditch my saturday shift for nadias christmas party, fingers crossed..merry christmas, the lot of you :)
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wilma, with her conehead. mum's been calling her conehead the barbarian all week, poor puppy.
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ill all day yesterday, random horrible crippling stomachache happened in the middle of manchester.
thinking of getting a new lj username, what with this one being kinda untopical now.. not sure if i have the heart to do it, though, been on this one for nearly a year..
eek. working christmas eve, christmasday, boxing day, new years eve and new years day. rar.. a very merry christmas indeed.
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score. seems i remember how to pour drinks correctly. yay for work!
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so, um. yesterday i broke down completely. after over a week of being stronger than i thought i could be, i just caved in, and cried on my mother's shoulder for the journey home. i don't even know what set it off. i never want to break down like that again. and i'm starting to resent people who've had good days, which is a bad place to be in. but i don't really know how to get out.. i hope this ends soon. i hope i get over it soon. he has, so why can't i?
well... shit.
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you will have a boy tonight
you will have a boy tonight
and you hope that they will see
growing up and dealing with it. i can do that :)
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my dog has one of those no-bitey-own-feet cones on her head, and she's throughly depressed about it. poor puppy :(
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| time: | 12:26 am. |
| mood: |  creative. | | music: | belle and sebastian - she's losing it. |
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didn't even realise the time today :S home tomorrow, huzzah.
when she doesn't speak to anyone till four o' clock
she knows she's losing it, oh yeah she's losing it
angst angst. and that. was going to get an early night, but i think i'll draw for a few hours til i can hardly hold the pen.. i'm in that kind of mood. create!
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| time: | 5:36 pm. |
| music: | david bowie/nin - heart's filthy lesson. |
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mm, pasta bake. two minutes til it's ready, countdown..
i've been drawing for what feels like two days solid. the concept of days is nearly out of the window, mind, was up til 6.30am again last night.. silliness. was a bit sharp today, shocked myself, even. sorry about that.
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| time: | 3:25 am. |
| music: | franz fedinand - take me out. |
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argh. no sleeping pattern left. tired, but not..
slightly depressing that i'd have been in manchester today. hope mike had a good birthday, sure he did :)
did a lot of drawing for the new comic project yesterday, got a title page and everything, one that i'm actually proud of :D and it scanned well, too, madness. might link to it, if anyone's bothered.
still, though.
i've been avoiding sleep, i've noticed. it's because i can't get to sleep quickly, thus i end up thinking too much on things, and leading myself off down random paths. unfun, thus i've been up til silly times of the morning, until i'm very tired and just conk out as soon as i hit the pillow. it's a rather destructive pattern, and it needs ending. bah.
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lookit. belle and sebastian's playlist.. note the lack of storytelling :(
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| time: | 5:52 am. |
| mood: |  melancholy. | | music: | franz ferdinand - darts of pleasure. |
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and how are we feeling today?
not too bad. had an insightful conversation with a friend on my way home today, brought to light a few things i hadn't realised about myself, and pointed out a few hardships i have on the horizon. moving on is a big worry, on my part or his. i'm very much scared of that one. scary as it was, it's always good to have a conversation like that. organises the brain a little.
belle and sebastian = EXCELLENT. we were right at the front, got a smile from sarah the singer. also nabbed a playlist at the end, thus making nadia happy indeed. also got stuart to say happy birthday to steve, so yay. they didn;t play a lot of song i'd have liked to hear (storytelling, women's realm, i'm a cuckoo), but it was still a really nice gig.
the support, franz ferdinand, were quite amazing too, might see if i can find a cd anywhere. wasn't too impressed when they walked in in oxfam brown wool cords and matching shirts, but they played excellently.
and then we went to steves and watched conan the barbarian, which made me want to tear out my eyes. apart from that minor mistake, had quite an excellent night. and i can't believe i'm up til 6am without being tired again..
still drawing. might have a chapter cover to show at some point.
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bah, stupid back button.. lost the entry.
[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<lj-cut="for>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] bah, stupid back button.. lost the entry. <lj-cut="for anyone interested in the next comic, a scribble."> as you may have guessed, i'm moving on from my old comic to a new one based on a d&d campaign, cause there's just so much damn plot for it. enjoy this doodle. <img src="http://pics.dark-omens.com/97e927d411/1071022547-mangajill%20copy.gif"> </cut> beware the war fan. |
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hmm. need some time to figure out what i want in life, now. things can get very difficult over the course of one day, it seems. means i might be a bit of an emotional mess in the next few days, so sorry to anyone who has to put up with me.. thanks to everyone who said a few words and stuff, and caz who bought me fudge and hot chocolate and hugs :) just need to get my head on straight.
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well, then. going to try to keep this short, cause i'm still rather painy but yeah. amiable breakup with mike. it's just how it happens, it's such a long distance, and i don't think his heart was in it near the end. still in a little bit of a state, but i think i'm coping better than i guessed i would. helped to have a night staying up watching anime and random movies with john and kitcatt (til the latter went to bed, can't really blame him, though). lost it a little on the phone to my mum just then, she even offered to come up, bless :)
going to eat some chocolate and two headache pills, have a long shower and sell off my train tickets. feeling ok, considering. it's rare that i'm proud of myself, but i kinda am right now. kept it together so far, hope i can keep it up.
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| time: | 12:46 pm. |
| mood: |  sleepy. |
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woo, fun night.. think i made a bit of an arse of myself when drunk, for which i apologise to all concerned. feeling surprisingly alright this morning, though, probably because i remember being told to drink two pints or so of water. now there's various people asleep in my house at nearly 1pm, deary me. and i have to remember to do my homework for tomorrow..
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